August 6th, 2008
Paris for President: Energy crisis solved
Slightly off-topic but call it proof that YouTube still has a role to play in politics. Always ready to ride a publicity wave, Paris Hilton has responded to John McCain’s famous ad juxtaposing Barack Obama with Hilton and Britney Spears with an “ad” of her own, posted on the Funny or Die video site.
Mimicking McCain’s ad which featured a female announcer asking if Obama is “ready to lead,” Hilton’s video features a bombastic male announcer intoning, “He’s the oldest celebrity in the world. Like super-old. Old enough to remember when dancing was illegal. And beer was served in a bucket. But … is he ready to lead?”
Cut to Paris, who says:
Hey, America, I’m Paris Hilton and I’m a celebrity, too, only I’m not from the olden days and I’m not promising change like that other guy. I’m just hot. But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I’m running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude and I want America to know that I’m like totally ready to lead.
The camera pulls back to reveal Paris is wearing a hot leopard-print one-piece with an exposed tummy. After she checks National Geo traveler to see “where I can fly to to get the best tan” (Maui), she intones her energy policy.
Barack wants to focus on new technologies to cut foreign oil dependency and McCain wants offshore drilling. Well, why don’t we do a hybrid of both plans? We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. That way the offshore drilling will carry us until the new technologies kick in which will then create new jobs and energy-independence.
Energy crisis solved! I’ll see you bitches at the debate.
Only problem with Paris’s solution: any production from offshore drilling won’t kick in for five years by which time, if properly funded and with the right tax incentives, we could have a huge growth in energy from solar and wind.
In any case, Obama has conceded limited offshore drilling with strict environmental control, so it’s safe to say that Paris is endorsing Obama’s strategy. Not sure if that’s good for Obama but it should shore up the youth vote once and for all.
